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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Brad K.'s LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
2:57 pm
Monday, April 19th, 2004
9:15 pm
Nick will get a kick out of this one.
HellRavenmon: Hiya
Giygas2000: Howdy partner.
HellRavenmon: I just realised I forgot who you were @.@ I'm so sorry ><
HellRavenmon: I got 79 biddies, including dozens of personas
HellRavenmon: buddies I meant
HellRavenmon: and for a moment I got you confused with someone else ><
HellRavenmon: I know you as who again? ^^;;;
Giygas2000: You're my only buddy in the whole wide world, and you could forget my name?
Giygas2000: Not only that, but our conversation last week?
HellRavenmon: yeah well last week I tought I was speaking to someone else ><
HellRavenmon: that's why I'm apologizing
HellRavenmon: it's just this name sounds like someone else's SN
HellRavenmon: and it's just now I realised I messed up >
Giygas2000: My name is Nick Riggi, or Mega Wizardmon, or Wizardryo.
HellRavenmon: Why aren't you on as Wizardryo??
HellRavenmon: You confused me!
Giygas2000: A computer virus from Bill Gates deleted it.
HellRavenmon: oh
HellRavenmon: and you forgot your password for that name
Giygas2000: Sorry for the confusion, it's one giant conspiracy I MEAN mix up lol k
HellRavenmon: @.@ not it's really my fault
HellRavenmon: I got 79 buddies, but most of the time it's like 7 person on
HellRavenmon: sorry again, I feel really bad about it --
Giygas2000: You shouldn't be sorry for that, though I do expect retribution for your recent absence at my board.
Giygas2000: Sitting on it for days and days, crying to myself and pining for a greater time, you should be ashamed that's what.
HellRavenmon: the board's dead.
Giygas2000: So are my dreams!
HellRavenmon: you got dreams beyond the board!
HellRavenmon: Altough I'm sad it's dead too --
Giygas2000: Nothing can possibly exist beyond the board!
HellRavenmon: Oh! Know what I found in a pile of old paper?
Giygas2000: You...damned...sadistic maniac!
Giygas2000: What is that?
HellRavenmon: the Space Police Policeman RPG
HellRavenmon: hahahahaha
HellRavenmon: good old times
Giygas2000: Very good indeed.
HellRavenmon: *sigh*
HellRavenmon: *cries* IT'S DEAD!!!
Giygas2000: Dave, help me, help me revive the board and thus return it to its older splendor!
HellRavenmon: Oh btw I saw Kill Bill vol. 2 last saturday
HellRavenmon: You'd need a miracle for that boss.
Giygas2000: Santa might be of some help. Oh Saaaanta, come over here you jolly wolly bumble of jelly.
HellRavenmon: Want me to post as cool new Undrave or good old HellRavenmon?
Giygas2000: Classic is always the best.
HellRavenmon: the only place I'm Hell anymore is on AIM ^^;
HellRavenmon: So I guess yeah
HellRavenmon: Do you really have some magistral plan or you just tought of it on a whim??
Giygas2000: Like most conversation, it popped into my mind at random.
HellRavenmon: *sigh* I miss the good old day when I knew everybody on the board
HellRavenmon: or at least the important posters
HellRavenmon: when I was still the legendary Poster and not just some guy without a sig and avatar on Pojo's (I have my setting so I don't see sigs and avatars anyway )
Giygas2000: One more thing, would you happen to know the magic words to "Boardus Revivus?" I'm been looking for the formula all day and haven't come up with even the smallest of clues. Care to help out a brother?
HellRavenmon: Neh. Hocus Pocus isn't my forte
Giygas2000: It might be in Harry Potter, let me check my collection right fast...
HellRavenmon: Hmmm...
HellRavenmon: Ask a Charmed fan to write a rhyming spell for you
HellRavenmon: Or maybe I could come up with something that sounds like the spells in Slayers
HellRavenmon: now THAT is spellcasting hehehehe
HellRavenmon: Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond bloods that flow and all that jazz
Giygas2000: What was the spell to blow up the world again?
HellRavenmon: the Giga slave?
HellRavenmon: Darkness Beyond Blackest Pitch, You who shines like gold upon the sea of Chaos...
HellRavenmon: and the rest I mostly forgot...
HellRavenmon: we'd need to find a deity to invoke to make a 'board revival, spell
Giygas2000: Hey baby, I'm the God of Love, so we have that already solved.
HellRavenmon: --;;
HellRavenmon: I meant someone with the power to attract people
Giygas2000: Are you calling me unattractive, Mr. Ugly Black Bird?
HellRavenmon: I'm Undrave now. :-D
HellRavenmon: Not really but Love doesn't have much to do with message boards
HellRavenmon: maybe a god of the written words
Giygas2000: Since you're French maybe you should sit out this one.
HellRavenmon: ... what does that has to do with anything???
Giygas2000: Take a hike Frenchy, I don't want you to touch my all American board until I cross examine you.
HellRavenmon: Hey! I'm Canadian, not French
Giygas2000: It doesn't matter, if you speak their language, there's always the chance of an impure mind.
HellRavenmon: ^o^
HellRavenmon: Oooh I'm the EEEEVIL french guy! OOOH! BOOH! Je fais peur! oooh
HellRavenmon: Monsieur Cheeks is French... and that's just wrong >
Giygas2000: Watch it bud, for all I know you could be leaking vital information to the Frenchies as we speak.
Giygas2000: Don't forget how your precious "Gaul" fostered some of the worst men this world has ever seen, like Napoleon, and Asterix. No, not that Asterix, the comic book character.
Giygas2000: Damn you Asterix, damn you and that shiny helmet to hell!
HellRavenmon: Asterix is cool!
Giygas2000: Then you are of evil heart!
HellRavenmon: You should have seen Asterix and Obelix: Mission Clepatra
Giygas2000: Go back to hell you ravenous beast, back to the flames from whence you came!
HellRavenmon: HILARIOUS movie!
HellRavenmon: Monica Belluci played a pretty sexy Cleopatra
Giygas2000: You are hereby banned from ever entering the beautiful and virgin soil of Animeus.
Giygas2000: Be off, before I get out the scarecrow.
HellRavenmon: Ah! A scarecrow!
HellRavenmon: Very funny
Giygas2000: Is that sarcasm I sense, young man?
HellRavenmon: Once I outwit it's 'Exploit Weakness' he's nothing more than an over blown Mad-Hatter!
Giygas2000: 'Best shut that trap of yours before I belt yah one.
HellRavenmon: or I could simply have Firestorm blast him for 5 clix of damage!
Giygas2000: I've always been fond of that Mad-Hatter, though the Doormouse has the subtle wit going for him.
HellRavenmon: or maybe just keep Jessie Quick behind block terrain and have her perform Hyper Sonic speed attack.
HellRavenmon: with only a DEF value of 15 at best the Scarecrow would be easy picking!
Giygas2000: Scarecrow casts psychic, thus descimating and casting it into a whirlwind of pain and suffering!
HellRavenmon: Scarecrow doesn't have psychic!
HellRavenmon: He's got Exploit Weakness, Mind control, Incapacitate, Smoke Cloud and late Outwit!
Giygas2000: Ah yes, that is why I faced my magic card face down, so that I may reveal its true power at the best time!
HellRavenmon: I know. I got the Vet version!
Giygas2000: Now, I have siezed the moment. Behold, the power of "Scarecrow can now use psychic!"
HellRavenmon: I think we're not talking about the same Scarecrow oO
Giygas2000: Bow before its awesome power.
HellRavenmon: Psychic -type moves are ineffective against Dark -types
HellRavenmon: :-D
HellRavenmon: but I think you got the wrong Scarecrow
Giygas2000: Scarecrow takes out his flash light and continues to play "tag" with your so called master of the darkness.
Giygas2000: This role playing business is quite fun. I should've joined it years ago, at the appropriate age.
HellRavenmon: Weren't you talking about THIS scarecrow? http://www.wizkidsgames.com/heroclix/dc/figuregallery.asp?unitid=4882
HellRavenmon: @.@
Giygas2000: XD
Giygas2000: I got your smile, I got it!
HellRavenmon: Hmm... seams like I got it wrong... Scarecrow DOESN'T have outwit... it's Batgirl who got late outwit!
Giygas2000: So the plot thickens.
HellRavenmon: checked that link?
Giygas2000: Like I check out a fine woman's behind, yowser!
HellRavenmon: --;
Giygas2000: ....No, for you see, I'm homosexual.
HellRavenmon: ...
HellRavenmon: and what does that have to do with the Scarecrow from the last set of DC Heroclix, Unleashed?!?
Giygas2000: Everything, dumbass.
HellRavenmon: By that do you mean YOU are a dumbass?
Giygas2000: Yes, the full sentence reads: "Dave, in your wake, I am transformed into a gigantic asshole and dumbass."
Giygas2000: have*
HellRavenmon: hmm... I might take that as an insult if I didn't know better
Giygas2000: You know me far too well.
HellRavenmon: Yeah. When I realise I'm talking to you!
HellRavenmon: get a less confusing name!
Giygas2000: Look at what I came across on my way to the Penthouse.
Giygas2000: http://pub98.ezboard.com/umasterpuppetmon.showPublicProfile
HellRavenmon: ooh
HellRavenmon: Rocko's modern life!!!
HellRavenmon: I mean... MASTERP!
Giygas2000: That's me. ;-)
HellRavenmon: ..
Giygas2000: Bill Gates did give me a virus.
Giygas2000: That much is true.
Sunday, November 9th, 2003
4:00 pm
'Cause I Have the Time
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||| 54%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Schizotypal |||||||||||| 46%
Antisocial |||||| 30%
Borderline |||||||||| 38%
Histrionic |||||| 22%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 54%
Avoidant |||||||||| 34%
Dependent |||||| 26%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 46%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Wednesday, May 7th, 2003
7:50 pm
Tomorrow, I'll make a big update on what's been going on, I swear. Trust me, I have a lot to write about, so those of you who actually care about what I have to say will be in for a treat for sure! To give you an idea of what my large entry will be about, I'll be writing about how and why I've been using the net less, recent advancements and declines I've made as a social being, as well as a long part devoted to the now gone Nish/Peggy.

I bet the excitement's too much to handle, isn't it?
Saturday, April 19th, 2003
8:47 pm
For as long as I can remember, I've put a lot of faith into the basic dignity and goodness of every human being that I've come across. I guess you could say, that I give people the benefit of the doubt, in that I tend to forgive others easily on the notion that there may be more to why they did something than I may at first perceive. To this day, I still accept the lifestyles, opinions, and actions of others with an open mind, and I always hope that others will do the same for me.

As most of you already know, I'm not one would call a "social butterfly." If anything, I'm darn introverted and anti-social. From this, I rarely communicate with other people about my feelings on certain subjects or anything in general, whether or not there's some incentive on my part. Besides the internet, I've been rather "protected" from asshole-ish people who spend a lot of energy just to bash other people. For some time now, it's been a belief in the back of my head that maybe people like that just didn't live in my area, and that people were just compelled to be rude on the net.

Well, a certain situation changed all of that.

Last Friday, before school started, I sat quietly in my English class, waiting for the bell to ring. At this time, only the substitute teacher, Sam, a girl named Holly, and myself were present. To pass the time, I was reading a section of our English book about Dante's Inferno, and Holly decided to tell a joke at this point in time. Her joke, about how the world is crazy because of certain circumstances that have been come up from the war, was your standard Forwarded e-mail fare. When I first heard it, I thought little of it besides that little pang of annoyance you get whenever you hear the same joke that has been shoved down your throat by many online personas. I kept quiet, because no one likes to hear the cynical opinions of some subtle geek, but one motion on Holly's part somehow changed that perspective.

After she told the joke, she turned her head towards me, and smiled. Don't ask me why, but I took this as, "What did you think about that?" Being the honest, and pathetic guy that I am, I decided to give my opinion on the matter, with little, if any, fluff. I told her that, "I have heard that joke quite a few times, and it has lost its novelty quite a while ago for me. But, by all means, you can tell that joke, for I'm sure that there are some here who have not heard this joke." Yeah, I do realize that what I said was pretty stiff, but I didn't expect her to reply in the way that she did.

"You know, you think you're so smart! You with your smart elicky comments! Yeah, I hear you over there, talking about how you're better than everyone else, and how we're so stupid! Well you know what? I don't think you're that smart at all!"

Hearing those words caused quite the stir in me, one that I have never felt before. Here, someone was telling me that that I thought of myself as some intellectually, when in reality, I thought of myself as some lowly freak! I was able to gather my wit, however, and I replied saying that this claim was based on nothing more than a preconception, and that I was sorry for misinterpreting her body language but that doesn't make your action towards making false accusations any more just. With that, she just nodded her head, and turned around.

My heart was racing like it had never done before. For the first time in my life, I had defended myself in what one could call "an intellectual way" in the material world. Despite this pleasant fact, I also felt very guilty. As I've said in the past, I tend to have strong feelings for human empathy at times that aren't appropriate, like at this time. Though I was able to defend myself, I felt an extreme amount of guilt for giving such a cynical opinion over her idle joke. To remedy this situation, I felt that the best thing to do was to find peace in writing her a letter about why, exactly, I did what I did.

The letter ended up being three pages long. Yes, you read that right. I wrote a three page paper about how I'm don't think I'm all that intelligent at all, and why I didn't react to her joke in such a way. I was being as sincere as I could possibly be, saying that even though I defended myself in such a way, I felt really bad about the whole thing. Later, people would tell me that I did nothing wrong, but I couldn't accept that at the time. At the end of class, I handed Holly the note, saying I was sorry, and walked away.

For the rest of the day, I felt pretty good about what I did. Having such high hopes in the human conscience, I thought that Holly would find forgiveness in her heart, and be able to look past this event. I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day, but I still thought that I knew that she would be happy with my reaction note.

How very wrong I was.

That very night, I talked to a good friend of mine, Joseph. Here's how the conversation went.

metal is nifty: errr
Giygas2000: Howdy to you.
metal is nifty: BRADLY
Giygas2000: Yes sir?
metal is nifty: you wrote a note to holly
metal is nifty: you didnt do anything wrong?
metal is nifty: why did you appologize
Giygas2000: I don't feel like talking about it.
Giygas2000: It's something really small, that you wouldn't care about.
metal is nifty: i know
metal is nifty: what its about
metal is nifty: holly was talking to the whole class about it
Giygas2000: I made a comment about a joke she said, and she claimed that I was some snobbish pseudo-intellectual.
Giygas2000: I just had to reply to that!
metal is nifty: making fun of you
Giygas2000: ...Wait, was she really?
metal is nifty: yeo
metal is nifty: yep
Giygas2000: Are you serious now?
Giygas2000: Ok, I have no respect for her what-so-ever, if you are telling the truth.
metal is nifty: shes like " he thinks he's so smart and better than everyone else
Giygas2000: She's so full of shit.
Giygas2000: I am not like that at all....
Giygas2000: Her entire theory is based on nothing but preconception.
Giygas2000: Damn, I don't remember the last time I've ever been this pissed.
metal is nifty: she was reading it in class and she was mispronouncing the words and stuff
Giygas2000: ....Ha.
Giygas2000: I guess that she thought that, with my use of large words, that I somehow felt superior to others.
Giygas2000: I can't believe this....
Giygas2000: I sought out for forgiveness and peace...and she creates shit.
metal is nifty: shes like " ahhh i dont undertand this, so i will fear and hate him"
Giygas2000: Exactly, heh.

So, as you can see, she twisted my sincere letter into a mound of bullshit in her own image. Instead of accepting the possibility that I want peace, she took it as an insincere piece of trash created by some kid who thinks that, with my semi-developed vocabulary, I can prove to others that I'm intelligent. Reading the letter to three different classes, while mispronouncing words like, "pseudo," (Uh, shouldn't you make sure that you know what certain words mean before you insult their user's intelligence?) she told everyone that I felt superior to other people. Though I have heard little about this from people who have heard her speech, besides the details given from close friends, I would bet that her rants decreased the opinions that people held for me...and maybe those which they held for her.

Now that a week has passed since this event, I have yet to confront her about this event. I've thought about letting this event go, seeing as how the whole thing is just a worthless drama issue. But, at the same time, my reputation has been tarnished by the ramblings of some immature girl who felt the need to patronize me based on nothing more than a vague idea of what I am like. Right now, all I can say is that I am very frustrated with the idiotic and mindless choice she made, and the complete hypocrisy of her actions.

That is all.

Current Mood: confused
Friday, March 28th, 2003
8:23 pm
I Fucking Suck: Part 2 aka Don't Read This If You Don't Like Angst
I went on two trips this past weekend, for those of you who don't know. The first trip was to my grandparents' house....but that was uneventful and boring, so I can't really say much about that. The second one was to Ohio, where I went to the nifty Cincinnati Zoo and Newport Aquarium with my obnoxious, obese, annoying, immature, and dumbass-tastic younger cousins. Yeah, as you can probably imagine, I could go on for hours about how much they suck in pretty much any way that comes to mind. But, that would be rather hypocritical of me, seeing as how I suck beyond all reason myself.

Do not think that I'm horrible person in the same way as my cousins. Oh no, such is not the case! I'm worse in a much more disgusting and putrid way, one that I don't think I can ever bring myself to forgive. How could I possibly be so horrible? Why, by being a pseudo-intellectual, of course!

Have you ever come across someone, who tries to be intelligent, and wants to be with all of his heart but he is actually one of the most pathetic excuses for an "intelligent" being that you have ever come across? Well, good sirs, I am one of these very pathetic individuals. I wish I could be smart, people say that I'm smart at times, and I appear to be rather "witty" on the internet, but I assure you that I am not nearly as intelligent as you may think.

Of course, the first thing that probably comes to your heads is, "Don't be so down on yourself, you're a very smart person!" But, none of you have ever met me in real life, so you wouldn't really know. Perhaps you'd like to know why my posts in the past have been so "insightful?" Well, it's because I would spend at least 15 minutes on each one when I first started posting on the board! Of course, that number decreased over time...but whenever I would try to counter-act an offensive post, I would spend up-words of thirty to forty five minutes writing these posts! And, this means of communication is much more efficient than actual face-to-face conversation for me! If you were to say some of the things that you fellows do in a IM chat session in "real life," I would probably just stutter and have to stop and thing about what words to use....like a fucking idiot/pseudo-intellectual.

But wait, it gets better! Oh yes, much better indeed! Until just recently, I was what one could call the "king" of snobbish elitists. I felt that anyone who didn't know what I did about anime, video games, the internet, and other worthless information then I felt that they were somehow lesser than me, and for some reason I was "enlightened." Of course, once I came across someone who knew some ten times more than I did about these subjects, yet were STILL able to hold up a job, have a social life (Wow!), and get near perfect grades (Hello sir Nick!), my ego was pretty much destroyed, and good old depression set in. This was a good thing in the end, I guess, because I was actually able to pull out of the huge delusional pit I had dug myself in.

Still, that's no excuse for my past actions! I may have changed, but I am still the egotistical Brad, who would spout out hypocrisies like, "Hey, we're all entitled to our opinion!" when subconsciously I couldn't except the idea of another interest being equal to my own. Let's not forget how many times that I lied to you all about my age and whatnot.

Oh, and why am I bringing this up now? It's because I recently had another blast to my (now) frail ego and sense of reality. While we were driving home, my mom mentioned that my Aunt said that I was like I saint. Well, being the "witty" person that I am, I said that such a label will have to wait until I'm coronated. Being the fucking idiot that I am, I didn't recognize the fact that being coronated was the process of being crowned king, even though I've been studying this subject for the entire Junior Year in British History! Anyway, my mom corrected me, (It's canonized, haha!) and I further proved my stupidity by saying that being coronated was when someone became a priest. Again, she corrected me, and went on about the meaning behind the word. Being the big, bad, idiotic male (pig) that I am, I claimed that I didn't care (even though I did, of course) and told her to stop with the mindless rhetoric. And, she then corrected me on how to pronounce "rhetoric."

To add to the humiliation that I was already suffering from within, she then said that I was a very smart person....Which seemed to hurt more than any of the previous matters. I'm not sure if she was being serious or not, but even if she was, it did bring up many unpleasant thoughts (Like, how I'm not really intelligent at all, and that I'm a pseudo-intellectual...or so I think).

Yeah, I'm so pissed off at myself and angst filled over something as meaningless as a conversation between me and my mother on the way home from a tiring trip. And, that probably means that I'm some kind of stupid teenager that tries to find any convenient chance to feel sorry for myself, but just know that I've already taken that into account....

*Wouldn't be surprised if he's wrong about the above situation, and when the time comes for the truth to be revealed, it's time for more depression!...But, don't let that stop you from replying*

On a lighter note....I might go the Ohio in a month or two, so maybe we could try to work out a time then, when you could get off work and, you know, honor me with your presence?

Edit: Please don't take everything that I say to heart. Some of the things that I said up there were backed up by blind emotion, so some of the "facts" have been stretched to make for a more dramatic effect. Just keep that in mind, please.

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
6:34 pm
Spanish = Fucking Worthless Bullshit That I Don't Care About

Guess what good friends? I failed Spanish yet again! That's right, my lazy tendencies have yet again scored me a failing grade for a class that I just don't give a fuck about! Of course, my parents weren't too happy to find out about this, seeing as how they've already grounded me for over a month over my Spanish grade last semester, yet I've "somehow" managed to fail again!

So, how are they going to resolve this problem?

Why, grounding me again, of course! And, doing this during my Spring Break will add that "extra umph" that I need to get ahead! Yes, using the same strategy that failed in the past spells future success!

All kidding aside, I really did fail Spanish again, and I won't be able to talk to any of you cool dudes for the next few weeks. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but once I get my computer privileges back, I'll make sure to make contact with all of you again....That is, if I ever bring my Spanish grade up, and my laziness trend is finally broken. Which, believe it or not, may very well not happen.

So, yeah, see you guys later (I hope)!

P.S. I'm about to break! (Tee Hee)
Sunday, March 16th, 2003
4:22 pm
Imagine a Penguin, playing a trombone....
I had my orchestra performance today, and I got to dress up like a penguin. This isn't the first time I've played with this group, and got to dress all natty and whatnot, but it is the first time that I've worn a Bow tie. Yeah, I've had to play my trombone in the past with a regular-business-man tie. Usually, it would be some red color, so it was easy to point out among all of the black and white attire that everyone else was wearing.

I guess I just stand out like that, sometimes.

I have to write a seven to eight page rough draft for my research paper on Richard III, so I guess I should start doing that, along with the outline for the paper. That's going to take quite a while.

Aaaaaaaand, my computer's really slow right now. Actually, it's been really slow for the past year. My internet connection's no different, even though it's cable. I'm lucky if I get 1KB per second, and I still haven't finished downloading the fourth episode of Azumanga Daioh, even though it's been in the process of loading for the past week.

I hope we can get that fixed soon.

Spring Break's coming up soon, as most of you all probably know. What do you all have planned? So far, all I've got scheduled is a trip to my grandparents' house to just lie around their house, perhaps see some movies, eat some good food (Grapes), and enjoy their company.

Speaking of grandparents, my grandma (the one with the serious healthy problems) broke one of her legs on Friday. Now she won't be able to put pressure on that leg for some three+ months. I hope that doesn't lead to any more serious health problems, or anything...
Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
5:45 pm
Chu died for CHU sins!
Now I'm going to write about my life for the first time in like, two months. This should be good fun.

For the curious, I haven't really done too much. I've pretty much just been to a few meetings, beaten a few games, and worked on some essays. Yeah, really interesting stuff. The games, especially Silhouette Mirage and Sly Cooper, were pretty fun. I got Xenosaga about two weeks ago, but it just hasn't really caught my interest. Maybe it's because the battle-to-cut-scenes ratio is a bit unbalanced, and the storyline itself kinda sucks. I've also heard from quite a few sources that the ending leaves a lot to be desired, so I doubt that will help raise my opinion of the series.

Speaking of which, I had an amazing revelation today. That is, Xenogears' plot DOES suck! Yeah, I've thought for some time now that the "deep religious symbolism" and hilarious metaphors really weighted down on the overall experience, but after looking back at the plot itself, it seems quite clear to me that it does suck! Not to mention on how horrible the platforming aspect of the game was, or just how annoying and time consuming gaining new combos could be. If you feel that I'm wrong, feel free to make a comment.

Oh, I'm supposed to be talking about my life, right?

I'm not sure if I should be writing this, but my brother has some serious "gas" problems. I know he can't help it, but I don't really like hearing a little "pfft" noise about three times after I turn off the light. Oh wait, I'm sorry, it's a LOUD "pfft" noise. Not only does he have some major flagellant problems, but also he has some other disgusting habits. For instance, ever see a guy "scratching himself," and feel sick afterwards? Well, imagine having to see that five times a day, and it's someone that you grew up playing hide and seek with. Not too appetizing if you ask me.

More topics to rant about, hmm....

I guess that's all I feel like complaining about right now. I'm not feeling especially depressed right now, so I don't feel like talking about how, "Life is all a stage, and everything I do is useless," or how, "Everything I care about, or think is for nothing!" or how, "No one could possibly love me," or some other angst filled rant. Lucky you. :)

On a lighter note, Azumanga Daioh is pretty keen, as is Kare Kano. And, the Love Hina Christmas Special was surprisingly good. At least, I thought it was. That should be a surprise to you, seeing as how I thought Love Hina sucked for a number of reasons.

Of course, that's just my opinion. ;)

Current Mood: accomplished
Friday, January 17th, 2003
9:50 pm
Vroom Vroom Vroom A Boom Boom Boom
I got my Drivers License today. The driving test was really easy. I mean, I expected the test to take at least a half an hour to end, but for me, I only left the license bureau for about five to ten minutes! And, I didn't have to parallel park between two cars, which probably helped me quite a bit. So, yeah, now I can drive to the mall and see a movie by myself. Go me!

Justin, a friend of mine, shadowed me today at school. Justin's an eighth grader in my brother's class, who I met through one of my brother's sleepovers. He's a great guy, but recently he's become a bit too anti-social and cynical. I haven't paid much mind to it, but today he was really rude to some of my peers. When people were trying to talk to him, he would just saying something like, "Eh...," or, "I don't care." It was pretty bad.

I haven't talked to some of you guys that much recently, so I hope that my absence from AIM these past view days/weeks hasn't hurt anyone's feelings. I hope that I can talk to some of you guys some more in the future.

Current Mood: content
Sunday, January 12th, 2003
6:50 pm
I Thought This Was Funny, So I Put it Here

Man, that's great.

I haven't updated my journal for the past "few" days because I just really haven't felt the need to write down what I've been doing. It seems that all I can write about now is how bad I feel about myself/how I always shoot myself down before I even start something, or whatever game I'm playing at a the current time. There are some things that I do, which I guess could be Journal worthy, but those things just seem to be very spacial in my life. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for isolating myself from from pretty much any social interactions outside of the internet for so long.

On the subject of my grandmother, she returned home from the hospital about a week ago. I didn't see her again until today, when the family went to her house to follow through with the family tradition of having a yearly gift exchange. I got Mitchell, my younger cousin, the Scooby Doo movie and five bucks. I received from Angie the book Utopia by Thomas More, and I plan on reading that once I get around to finishing the LOTR books.

I drove quite a bit today, to prepare for my driving test this Friday. Yes, that's right, I'm finally going to try and get my Driver's License. Then, I can take my Ford/Piece anywhere that I want!....Woo hoo, I can drive to Toys R Us whenever a game comes out on my own! Rock on!

Current Mood: calm
Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
5:27 pm
I'm a retard, or so some people say
For the curious, I haven't updated my journal for the past few days because I've been "busy" with my video games and other fun things. Especially Animal Crossing and Sly Cooper, because those two games are super-de-duper fun. Speaking of Animal Crossing, I have to give back T-Bone's Pocket Pikachu...

On New Years Eve, my brother's Junior High Youth Group held a lock in at the school's gymnasium and tagged along as a chaperon. I didn't do much work, since most of my time was spent playing the Gamecube that I brought and chatting with a clique of girls in Ronnie's class that he likes to call the "Good Charlotte Gang," because they practically obsess over the band.

Any who, the little work that I did do revolved around fetching snack related products, like cokes or ice for the soft drinks. At the beginning of the rockin' party, I was asked to go to the kitchen and get some ice. Having never been in the building before, I had NO idea that there was a kitchen in the gym building. So, after the youth leader handed me the keys to the kitchen, what did I do? I headed for the only kitchen that I knew of in the area, the one in the school. Once I reached the school doors I set the cooler down, and started to try different keys to unlock the doors (The leader didn't show me which ones I should use). After trying a couple of the keys, I heard a very familiar voice from a person whom I'm very familiar with.

Jamie: Oh my God, what are you dooooooing?!? Hahaha, you retard, not that kitchen! Hahaha!

Yes, Jamie Huber, a sophomore at my high school and Eagle scout in my Boy Scout troop. Though he doesn't know it, I have for some time found his immature antics and his "Look at me!" attitude to be quite annoying, and also made him the butt of quite a few of my jokes. Anyway, as you can probably imagine, I didn't take this too well.

After returning to the gym, I was greeting by a very energetic Jamie, who was quick to point out that it was stupid of me to head to the school kitchen, when there was OBVIOUSLY a kitchen in the gym. In a monotonous/calm voice, I said to him...

Me: You know Jamie, I'm not sure if you've noticed this over the course of this past year, but I haven't exactly been an active member of this Catholic Youth Group. Along with being inactive in the group, I haven't participated in any of the activities in this gym, or ever been in here for more than five minutes. So, does not knowing of the kitchen in this building, while having been in it for only five minutes beforehand, make me a retard? I think not. But what I do think, sir Jamie, is that your little comment about my mental health was immature and unnecessary.

So then I walked off to join my good pals in a enthralling game of Super Monkey Ball 2.

Yeah, I know that him saying that probably wouldn't have been a big deal for most of the people reading this, but I've silently put up with Jamie for quite some time now, and hearing him call me a retard made me cringe.

And....that's it.

Good day!
Friday, December 27th, 2002
1:22 pm
Christmas has come, and gone. The first day, anyway
Now that December 25th is in the past, and Santa's boot prints have already been cleaned out of the rug, it's time to update my journal again. For Christmas, after our family opened our gifts, we went to see our sickly grandmother for a few hours, to see how she was doing. Afterwords, our family on my mother's side came over and we had a big dinner. We had fun, playing video games (Especially Super Monkey Ball 2) and just enjoying each other's company. We'll probably have another one of these get together before the year ends, once grandmother gets out of the hospital. Then, we'll have our gift exchange, that we missed out on Christmas day.

Want to know the gifts that I got? Well, even if you don't, I guess I'll post my long list of gifts I've received so I can feel better, even if it is at your expense.... Enjoy!

Santa's Presents for Me
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship (4 DVDs)
Sly Cooper
Animal Crossing
Suikoden III
Quite a few Gift Cards

What Ronnie Found Under the Tree
The Patriot (DVD)
We Were Soldiers (DVD)
Robotech: Battlecry (Gamecube)
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PS2)
Super Monkeyball 2
SOCOM Navy Seals
Some Mage Knight Toys

Pretty pricey, eh?

For the next few days, I'm going to be at my grandparents' house in Frankfort. So, you won't be seeing me until late Sunday. I hope you all had a nice Christmas, and I hope you are all willing to talk about it later this week! :)
Tuesday, December 24th, 2002
8:56 pm
Monday, December 23rd, 2002
5:34 pm
Party Hardy
Last night, my brother had two of his friends over, one who lives pretty close and the other who has had a rather harsh impact on my brother's life. That last part about Ronnie's "harsh" friend is very long story, and I don't feel I should talk about my brother's past on this journal. Anyway, the two boys came over, and we played Smash Brothers Melee and other assorted video games for a few hours, until one of us came up with the idea to go outside and do some stuff in the wild, dark outdoors. So we did, so simple!

My brother, being the pyro that he is, decided that it would be a good idea to blow some random action figures with his fireworks. Being the wild teenagers that enjoy explosions that we are, we found this idea to be rather appealing. After blowing up one of Ronnie's friend's Treasure Planet figures, and burning the same boy's Cricket figure, we were out of fireworks. Now that all of the "boom-boom" fun was done, what else was there to do in the dark? Why, play hide-and-go-seek, when it's almost pitch black outside, of course!

Before I talk about our happy fun time, there's one little tidbit about Ronnie (My brother) that you should know about. Ron has this habit of tearing off the things on coke cans that open up the can, and chewing on them. He has been constantly warned by my mother that he will someday swallow it, or mess up his teeth, but he doesn't listen. Well guess what, someone learned a lesson last night!

Unknown to everyone else that was playing the Night Game, Ronnie was chewing on one of these Can-Cap-Things while he was running and hiding with the rest of us. Even if we did know he had one of those in his mouth, we probably wouldn't of worried about anything happening to him, being the children that we are. Anyway, while Zach (Friend #1) was chasing my brother in the dark of night, Ronnie tripped on some roots, and swallowed the Aluminum in his mouth. Immediately, he started to "force it back up" and instead forced up the pizza we had earlier that night. To his dismay, no metal was to be found in his...excretement.

As of now, we don't know what's going on inside his body. My brother's constantly saying stuff like, "I can't wait until Christmas...if I live that long," and asking things like, "If you ate something twelve hours ago, which intestine do you think that something would be in?" It's kind of annoying, but the strange-ness of the whole thing makes the situation somewhat interesting, at least enough to write about it in my journal.

One more thing. My grandmother was rushed to the hospital last night, because she started having heart problems and fell unconscious. I'm really worried about her, because she's always had serious health problems, and this could very well be the last Christmas she has. Please keep her in your thoughts.

Current Mood: worried
Wednesday, December 18th, 2002
8:35 pm
So Awesome it Hurts
To start this thing off, I just want to say that my finals were quite easy. My Chemistry final turned out to be quite easy, since it was mainly just a big, yet simplistic review of what we've covered over the course of the year. So, the one section that I had a problem with, only slightly affected my grade for the course. My English final was actually really easy! Since I had an hour before the test to go over my notes, I felt really confident in my writing, and was able to write what I felt to be a darn good essay. And, Joseph didn't even do the essay at all. He just sat in his desk, and waited for me to get done with mine. For the whole semester, he hasn't done any work. So, he felt that doing the essay was just a waste of his energy.

After all of that good fun, our school didn't let us out until 11:37, so we had to race over to the theater and missed most of the previews (X-Men 2!). The group that I went with consisted of Brian, Joseph, Henry, Eric (Henry's little bro), and myself. When we got there, to our surprise, my good pal Nick was there, waiting to see the film with us. So we saw it all together, and we were all very, very happy. If you want to read a good overview of the events in the movie, check out Nish's entry. I'm too lazy to write about all of the things that I felt were oh-so-cool in the movie, but I must say that the scenes with Gollum were quite impressive/entertaining.

After the movie, Henry, Eric, and Nick all had to go home, but the rest of us went to the local mall to eat at its food-mart. I had Tumbleweed (yum), and while I feasted someone (me) got the crazy idea to see another movie. Brian felt it was a good idea, but Joseph couldn't because he had to go home, because today was the first day that his grounding sentence has ended. Anyway, Brian and I ended up watching Star Trek: Nemesis, which compared to The Two Towers of just "eh."

And, I went home and studied Spanish for about two hours.

Even though my day ended on a somewhat sour note, I must say that today was one of the most fun days I've had this year.
Tuesday, December 17th, 2002
6:25 pm
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!
I bought my tickets today for the 11:50 A.M. showing of The Two Towers tomorrow. Right after I get done with my finals for the day, I'm going with four of my friends and have a good time. Man, I can't wait.

Speaking of finals, this English final should be pretty darn hard. During that final, we're going to have to write an essay on the progression of the King Arthur legends, without any references. So, I guess I'd better study for that one...

I think this is my "return entry" of sorts. The semester is pretty much over, and for these next few days I'm going to have more time to study than I usually do. It's good to be back. :)
Tuesday, November 26th, 2002
9:04 pm
Goodbye, for now
My parents received a phone call from my Spanish teacher today, regarding my recent fall in my grade. Cutting right to the case, my parents weren't too pleased with what she had to say. Frustrated by this, and other things like how I spend too much time with computers and whatnot, they felt a punishment was in order. So, I have been grounded from the internet and video games until my Christmas break. This has come as a bit of shock to me, since they rarely punish me. But, now I have to face the judge I guess.

I'm sorry or leaving so abruptly, but it's time for me to take a bit of a break from all of this. Goodbye Nish, Bounty, Nick, Tim, and anyone else who reads this. I hope you can enjoy yourself while I'm gone, and take in the joys of the online world which I'll be missing out on for a while.

Goodbye, friends.
Friday, November 22nd, 2002
10:12 pm
Giygas2000: I'd like to talk, please.
Auto response from Squallisadog: not in the room at the moment.

Squallisadog signed off at 10:07:20 PM.

Self Esteem Points: Minus 1

Also, I missed out on saying that I wanted to still talk with Nick. Darn.

And finally!

BrittBmo: if i looked back at all the things that i have done and it made my life terrible then i would probably kill myself b/c i was so mean to the people who love me now
BrittBmo: i understand completely
BrittBmo: and all the thingd that werent my fault in my childhood i still think si my fault and i hate myself for it all the time
Giygas2000: You know, I don't think you should've said that.
BrittBmo: said what
Giygas2000: You can never truly understand what another person is going through.
BrittBmo: well i can try
Giygas2000: I can't say I know what it's like for your parents being divorced, even if mine were too.
Giygas2000: I know, but I don't think that you should've said that.
Giygas2000: *Shrugs* Whatever though, I'm glad to see that you're trying to help
Giygas2000: It's much more complicated than just feeling bad about that past, it's also about me feeling bad as a person.
Giygas2000: I feel that I can't do anything good...
BrittBmo: oh well im sry for speaking my mind ther is another lessin i will learn in the future to keep my mouth closed
Giygas2000: Which, probably sounds ridiculous, but very real to me.
Giygas2000: No, it's ok, heh.
Giygas2000: I mean, really...
BrittBmo: and u dont think that other people feel the same way as u
Giygas2000: No, heh.
Giygas2000: That's not the case at all.
BrittBmo: b/c i feel like crap everyday b/c of what i look like and what i am as a person
Giygas2000: I just don't think that another person should claim to understand how the other feels.
BrittBmo: if i could change anything it would be everything
BrittBmo: well im so sry to go under your skin
Giygas2000: Even your seemingly outgoing additude?
Giygas2000: That's not what I'm saying, argh.
Giygas2000: I'm not sure how else to explain it, but I just don't find it right to claim that you know how someone feels.
Giygas2000: I'm grateful for your caring additude, but I just felt that little thing wasn't too cool.
Giygas2000: Really, I am grateful.
BrittBmo: well it pisses me off when someone is like u dont understand how i feel and they have no idea where i ahve come from and what kind of family i have

I'm glad that she was trying to help, but W-T-F?
7:50 pm
PARTY TIME!.........Haha, had you there for a second!
Yeah, I was going to go to my first party today in two and a half years, but things didn't really work out. This will probably sound really pathetic of me, but it was going to be with my little brother's eight grade friends, and since I know his friends really well I thought I could have a good time there. Well, my father found out about my idea, and wouldn't let this slide. He felt that someone who's so much older than these kids shouldn't go to their party. Of course, I wasn't very pleased with this, and tried to talk my way into going. But, it was to no avail.

After this, I felt rather depressed, and I laid(sp) in bed and began to think about what I usually think about in school (i.e., how much I suck). Then, my mom comes in, and tries to make me feel better by telling me what the whole situation was (Which I knew...). Anyway, when I mentioned that I never go to any social events, she compared this to how she never went to parties in high school. Being the asshole that I am, I replied to this with, "Yeah," in a tone of voice that makes it seem like I don't care at all. She then left, and finished the conversation with, "I really wish you wouldn't ignore the pain that I've felt through life, because I know how harsh pain can be." Hearing this, made me slip into an even deeper depression, thinking that I'm such a fucking asshole who doesn't do anything but cause pain for people. So I stayed in my bed for about an hour, while listening to my mother cry out loud while I cried to myself, and when I got the idea to write about this frustration in my journal, I decided to get up and actually do something.

So, what did I learn from all of this? That I really do suck and that I'm a rude, pig-headed, really stupid, asshole that can't do anything right it seems. Oh wait, I already knew that. Yay.

Now, excuse me while I go back to bed and feel sorry for myself, and think about how childish/angsty I sound in this journal entry. Wish me luck! ^__________^

*Starts crying.....seriously*

Current Mood: guilty
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